This is my first blog EVER and I have already made an uncorrectable mistake. And do you know who I blame? Microsoft! I could blame myself, but why would I want to do that?
So here is the low down: When I signed up for this blog, I misspelt my username. WHAT!?!?! “How could anyone be that stupid,” you might ask yourself. Well, like I said earlier, I blame Microsoft and I will touch on why in a second. What makes this mistake even worse is the fact that WordPress does not delete usernames or accounts. So I am left staring at my mistake for the rest of eternity…or at least until I stop blogging. My mistake is just sitting there mocking me. I guess stupidity is a 7 letter word. Wait a minute…1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8. Oh sh*t, 8! Stupidity is an 8 letter word. See, there it is again. My stupidity. Damn you Microsoft!
So the reason behind my seemingly irrational blame of Microsoft is that they have been an enabler. They have allowed me to become dependent on them with their automatic grammar and spell check. Even now as I am typing this post, I have Word sitting on my desktop and I keep plugging words in making sure I spelled them correctly. At one time, prior to Word, I use to be a FANTASTIC speller. I was always at the top of my class. But, over the years, I have become dependent (aka LAZY) and have relied on Word to do the dirty work. It has been a great relationship. The only problem is that now, I can’t spell worth a damn. The English language and its weird vowel usage, silent letters, and whatnot. I cannot function without Word. As long as I am using it, I am am peachy-keen. However, whenever I step out of its loving embrace I am lost. I become unsure of each stroke of the keyboard.
“Did I spell that correctly? Is dependent spelled ‘dent’ or ‘dant’? Is it effect or affect?”
Over and over again, I go back to Word like a needy lover.
“I can’t do this without you! Reassure me!”
And it’s always there to take me back in its comforting embrace.
“Why do you always try to do this without me? It is always better to let me do it. Don’t worry your pretty little head. I’ll take take care of you.”
Damn you Microsoft. I was once capable and confident. You have made me needy and unsure. Wait…is that how you spell capable?
“Damn it…I must resist.”
“Trust yourself Nezz. You can do it on your own.”
“No, I can’t do it. I must know.”
“NO!!! RESIST THE URGE!”
“Can’t…resist. Must……check………with…………..Word.”
*checks Word*
“I was right. AWWWWWWWWWW…….Sweet relief!”
